Choremancing: The New Dating Trend That Turns Errands Into Romance
For contemporary singles navigating the complex world of modern romance, we have officially entered what might be called the Scheduling Era of dating. First came the phenomenon of "stack dating," where individuals packed their calendars with back-to-back romantic encounters. Now, a new trend has emerged: "choremancing." This approach to relationships either represents a surprisingly practical method for incorporating romance into busy lives or stands as the most disheartening development since the invention of dating apps.
It comes as little surprise that dating has shed much of its former spontaneity and mystique. With social media allowing constant observation, economic pressures limiting extravagant outings, and general fatigue affecting many adults, the dating landscape feels less overtly romantic than in previous generations. Perhaps this shift is acceptable, even beneficial. Maybe "choremancing" serves as a clever strategy to reintroduce connection into our daily routines. Or perhaps it signals something less optimistic about the state of modern love.
What Exactly Is 'Choremancing'?
You might already be practicing "choremancing" without even recognizing the term. Coined by the dating platform Plenty of Fish, this concept describes a surprisingly widespread phenomenon. Research indicates that approximately 42% of single individuals are engaging in "choremancing" unconsciously. This means you could be participating in this trend yourself, whether you're currently dating or already in a committed relationship.
So, what constitutes a "choremance"? Don't be alarmed by the suggestion that you might be doing it—it's not inherently negative. In fact, it resembles many dating trends that have existed informally for years, similar to "shrekking" (dating someone who might not fit your usual aesthetic type). The crucial distinction today is intentionality. Rather than accidentally slipping into this pattern, daters are now consciously choosing to integrate romantic time with practical tasks.
"'Choremances' are about transforming everyday responsibilities into deliberate date opportunities," explains Michael Kaye, a Dating Expert at Plenty of Fish. "Instead of reserving a separate evening specifically for romance, couples incorporate dating elements into their regular, real-life activities."
According to Plenty of Fish's research, not only are 42% of singles already practicing this approach, but more than two-thirds report it as a surprisingly effective method for assessing compatibility. Characterized as low-pressure, efficient, and perfectly suited for hectic schedules, "choremancing" essentially represents dating designed for individuals whose calendars are already overflowing with commitments.
Real-World Examples of Choremancing in Action
Now that you understand the concept, let's examine how singles are implementing "choremancing" in their daily lives. Plenty of Fish discovered that 58% of singles utilize dog walks as opportunities to connect with dates, 25% schedule joint gym sessions, and 21% even transform weekly grocery shopping into bonding activities. This strategy blends romance with practicality—and, naturally, having adorable dogs present can make conversation flow effortlessly.
Daphne T., a 32-year-old who requested to use only her first name for privacy, states that "choremancing" constitutes the majority of her time with her partner.
"We frequently walk the dog together, especially on busy days, as it provides the best moment to catch up," she shared. "We've also begun working out together. Since I exercise daily, this became a way to spend additional quality time. On weekends, we tackle projects like gardening or DIY tasks around the house. It makes ordinary chores more enjoyable."
"However, I did start feeling like we might be taking each other for granted, so we now each plan a special date-night surprise once a month. This forces us to move beyond practicality and simply have fun together. We avoid routine dinners and instead opt for activities like ice skating, cooking classes, or go-karting."
Does Choremancing Strengthen or Weaken Relationships?
Let's be honest—it likely can't be worse than some previous dating trends like "freak matching" or "grim keeping." Nevertheless, it's worth examining whether "choremancing" represents the new pinnacle of dating efficiency or an unfortunate development comparable to problematic social media features.
Given that Plenty of Fish originated the term, we first consulted their expert perspective.
"Overall, strengthening," affirmed Kaye. "'Choremances' help couples visualize what life together genuinely looks like, beyond just the highlight reel. When you're navigating errands or routines collaboratively, you're learning how someone communicates, compromises, and shows up in day-to-day situations. That type of real-world insight can build trust and emotional intimacy more rapidly than a polished dinner date. The key is balance: 'Choremances' function best when they complement, rather than replace, deliberate quality time."
Seeking a second opinion before endorsing grocery shopping as Saturday night entertainment, we turned to Sabrina Zohar, a dating coach and host of "The Sabrina Zohar Show" podcast, known for straightforward advice.
"I'm not opposed to 'choremances,'" Zohar stated. "Romanticizing daily activities with your partner can actually represent an intelligent strategy to maintain connection and prevent falling into predictable patterns. There's something grounding about transforming mundane moments into opportunities for presence and playfulness together."
However, she offers an important caution:
"That said, if 'choremances' constitute your entire relationship? If the only way you're spending time together is by accompanying each other on errands? That's a potential red flag worth examining. It might indicate the relationship has lost intentionality, or you're avoiding deeper connection by staying busy together instead of genuinely being together."
Differentiating Between Healthy Choremancing and Relationship Ruts
As Daphne's experience illustrates, "choremancing" initially strengthened her relationship—until it began to dominate their interactions. On the positive side, this approach creates time for partners amidst busy schedules, moving beyond rare catch-ups. It also promotes shared responsibility for household tasks, preventing one person from carrying the mental load alone. Conversely, it can lead individuals to reserve their energy for friends or work rather than their partner, potentially making the partner feel neglected.
Even during early dating stages, it can be challenging to assess chemistry when most shared time occurs in mundane settings.
"The distinction comes down to intention and energy," emphasizes Zohar. "A 'choremance' embodies the spirit of 'let's make this errand more enjoyable by doing it together'—it enhances your connection. A rut represents 'this is all we do now'—it substitutes for genuine quality time. One feels like a bonus, the other feels like settling."
Zohar provides a simple guideline: "Ask yourself: Are we doing this because we genuinely want to spend time together, or because we've stopped prioritizing real dates and this has become the path of least resistance?"
Every relationship will inevitably include some element of "choremancing," and approaching it positively can inject joy into ordinary tasks. However, when dating or relationships become confined solely to practical duties—never incorporating activities you truly desire to share—it's time for reevaluation. And, as Zohar suggests, perhaps some go-karting might be in order to reintroduce excitement and intentional connection.
