Rosie O'Donnell, the 64-year-old comedian and former talk show host, has opened up about a decision she once thought she would never make: undergoing a facelift. In a deeply personal Substack poem titled 'decisions,' she reflects on aging, feminism, body image, and the guilt she felt over altering her appearance.
A Shift in Perspective
For years, O'Donnell viewed facelifts as a betrayal of feminist ideals and natural aging. However, after losing 50 pounds, she noticed her face appeared more 'haunted' than refreshed. 'It wasn’t wrinkles — it was gravity,' she wrote. 'I’d look in the mirror and think — this isn’t aging, this is melting with intention.'
Initially, she tried to accept the changes, telling herself it was natural and earned. But eventually, she began researching cosmetic procedures, joking that 'gathering information' is what women say when they are considering something they swore they'd never do.
Family Reactions
The decision became more complicated when her 13-year-old child, Clay, expressed disapproval. 'You earned your wrinkles,' Clay told her. 'Young women look up to you. I wouldn’t be able to respect you if you did it.' This comment struck a chord, causing O'Donnell to delay the surgery for months.
She reflected on the conversation, noting it reminded her of her own younger, more rigid self. Ultimately, she realized that forcing herself to reject cosmetic surgery for ideological reasons wasn’t freedom either. 'If I’m teaching Clay anything, it can’t be that my body belongs to an idea either. Even a good idea. Even feminism,' she wrote. 'Because that’s still not freedom — that’s just a different authority telling you what you’re allowed to do with your own face.'
The Procedure
O'Donnell underwent a lower deep plane facelift in January, a procedure that lifts tissue beneath the facial muscles for a more natural result. She chose a doctor she trusted, who had worked on friends who 'still looked like themselves.' Before surgery, she told the doctor, 'I will never say, ‘God, I wish you did more.’' She didn't want to chase perfection but simply hoped to look 'less haunted.'
By her account, the result was exactly what she wanted. 'I do look like me,' she wrote. 'A slightly more well-rested emotionally stable version of me.' Ironically, almost nobody noticed the change. 'Not one person,' she said. 'Not a friend, not a stranger, not even people who owe me compliments.' She joked that after a 'full existential feminist crisis' and surgery, the reaction was 'zippo.'
Cost and Privilege
O'Donnell acknowledged the cost of the surgery, saying it 'cost more money than I have ever paid for a car.' She admitted feeling shame about the privilege that made it possible. However, she has found peace entering what she calls 'act 3' of her life. At 64, she is 'happier than I have been in years' and 'just happy to be alive. Able to feel and choose and use my voice whenever I feel called to.'
Previously, O'Donnell had spoken against plastic surgery, believing aging naturally would benefit her acting career by allowing her to play older, character-driven roles. This recent decision marks a significant shift in her perspective.
