Adulthood comes with freedoms, like ordering chicken nuggets anytime, but also a relentless parade of responsibilities: taxes, doctor's appointments, and a to-do list that never ends. Beyond the underpaid job, there's the unpaid admin of life—cleaning, maintaining friendships, exercising, and trying to keep up with cultural must-dos. Into this packed schedule, we're also supposed to weave the complex, energy-intensive search for a lifelong partner. It's little wonder that Generation Z is applying their signature efficiency to romance, leading to the rise of "stack dating."
What Exactly Is 'Stack Dating'?
Stack dating is the practice of scheduling multiple dates in a single week, sometimes even packing more than one into a single day. This approach aims to maximize limited free time in the quest for a relationship. Rather than leaving romance to chance, individuals proactively fill gaps in their calendars with dates. Paul Brunson, Tinder's global relationship insights expert, frames it eloquently.
"'Stack dating' is essentially designing your dating life the same way you design the rest of your day — with intention, efficiency, and a whole lot less pressure," Brunson explained. "It's when someone schedules back-to-back dates that fit naturally into their routine. Think: a coffee and walk with one match in the morning, hitting the gym with another, and maybe dinner with a third. Some people even call it 'errand dating,' because it folds seamlessly into the flow of your everyday life."
This might look like meeting a Tinder match for coffee before work and another for a comedy show after. For time-pressed singles, it's about seizing opportunities to meet in person quickly, bypassing weeks of endless app messaging.
Efficiency vs. Emotional Presence: The Expert Divide
According to Tinder's research, 51% of Gen Z are open to new and more flexible ways of dating that work around their schedules. Brunson sees this as a generational shift in priorities. "They're placing a higher value on their own time — and respecting their matches' time, too," he said. "At its core, stack dating is a response to a generation saying, 'I want meaningful connection, but I also want to honour my routine, my wellbeing, and my priorities.'"
Brunson argues this method can increase the chances of finding the right person by creating low-pressure dates that align with one's authentic life. He notes that 35% of singles are looking for a 'low-key lover,' and stack dating supports this by integrating potential partners into everyday activities like a lunchtime walk or a gym session.
However, not all experts are convinced. Emma Hathorn, a dating expert at Seeking.com, offers a critical view. "'Stack dating' is essentially speed dating for the chronically busy: efficient, but focused on quantity over quality," Hathorn stated. "While it might save time, it often strips dating of curiosity, fun, and emotional presence, turning people into options instead of treating them as unique individuals."
Hathorn warns that for most people, more than one or two dates a week can lead to emotional overload, making it hard to stay genuinely invested. When dating feels like a diary exercise, the potential for real connection diminishes.
Transparency and the Risk of Losing Spontaneity
A key question for stack daters is honesty. Should you tell your dates you're seeing multiple people? Emma Hathorn advises transparency. "Modern dating comes with the unspoken understanding that most people are seeing more than one person, but being upfront creates clarity and avoids mismatched expectations later on," she said. You don't need to volunteer the information unsolicited on a first date, but if asked, honesty is the best policy to build a healthy foundation.
The trend also raises a broader cultural question: in our quest to optimize every aspect of life—from listening to audiobooks at 1.5x speed to multi-tasking social plans—are we sacrificing the spontaneous joy that makes dating (and life) exciting? Stack dating is a pragmatic solution for a busy generation, but it walks a fine line between treating love as a priority and reducing it to just another efficient, scheduled task on the never-ending to-do list of adulthood.
