Dear Abby: Friend's Living Situation Deteriorates Amid Alcoholic Sister's Behavior
A concerned friend has reached out to advice columnist Abby, detailing the distressing circumstances of a man named Louis. In his 60s and 50% disabled, Louis relocated 500 miles to live with his sister, Gayle, and her husband after they offered to care for him. However, the move has turned into a nightmare as Gayle's severe alcoholism has created a hostile environment.
Unforeseen Challenges and Financial Strain
Upon moving, Louis discovered that Gayle consumes six to eight drinks after work daily, becoming belligerent toward both her husband and Louis. She has since given Louis 30 days to vacate her home, leaving him with nowhere to go, as he severed ties with everyone in his previous location. The friend, writing from Florida, has loaned Louis money to prevent starvation while he applies for custodial jobs, but the situation remains dire.
Abby's Response: Support and Resources
In her reply, Abby suggests that Louis and his brother-in-law attend Al-Anon or Smart Recovery meetings to cope with the isolation and stress of dealing with a raging alcoholic. She emphasizes that since Louis has burned bridges in his old town and lacks funds to move out, the friend should continue listening and offering support until he secures employment. Additionally, Abby notes that Louis's partial disability may qualify him for community services and assistance, urging him to explore these options further.
Additional Advice on Family Conflict
The column also addresses another reader's dilemma involving a court case between a sister-in-law and mother-in-law, with both parties cutting off contact after the reader refused to take sides. Abby advises staying out of the conflict until the legal matter is resolved, highlighting the inability to force reconciliation.
On Valentine's Day, Abby expresses her appreciation for readers, signing off with warm wishes. The column, founded by Pauline Phillips and written by Jeanne Phillips, continues to provide guidance on personal and family issues.
