A long-term employee of 17 years is struggling with a former friend who has become hostile, undermining her at work and reporting mistakes to supervisors. The worker, writing to Dear Abby, describes how the relationship soured after their children grew older, leading to a toxic environment.
Details of the Conflict
The employee, the youngest in her department, once enjoyed a close friendship with a co-worker whose son was the same age as hers. They attended birthday parties and spent time together with their children. However, in recent years, the co-worker's attitude shifted dramatically. She now undermines the employee at every opportunity, makes assumptions without communicating, and tattles to supervisors. She has deliberately excluded the employee from group emails for holiday gifts and reports any mistakes directly to management instead of addressing them personally.
The employee attempted to resolve the issue by meeting with the co-worker, her supervisor, and her boss, but the co-worker used the meeting to criticize other job duties she had no experience in. Additionally, the co-worker has made disparaging remarks about the employee to her son, who then repeated them to the employee's son at school.
Seeking a Resolution
Dear Abby advised the employee to document every instance of the co-worker's behavior and present it to her boss, explaining that it has created a hostile work environment. If the behavior persists, Abby suggested consulting an attorney. The advice emphasizes that while friendships based on shared children's activities can fade, this situation appears to be a deliberate attempt to get the employee fired.
In a separate letter, a 23-year-old woman who cheated on her boyfriend of six years seeks guidance. She has spent over $1,000 on therapy and attends church with him, but he still struggles to trust her. She feels isolated, living with his parents and unable to afford to move out while finishing school. Dear Abby advised her to move out to separate feelings of dependence from affection, giving him space to decide whether to forgive her. The columnist noted that her desire to have children soon may require starting over regardless of the outcome.
