Once you’ve mastered the basics of cunnilingus, it’s easy to fall into a routine. But sex experts recommend a simple adjustment: the Kivin method, also known as the sideways method. This technique involves the giver lying perpendicular to the receiver, aligning their lips side-to-side, often with the receiver’s leg(s) raised over the giver’s shoulder for better access. The focus is on stimulating the clitoris, vulva, and perineum from the side, creating broader sensations that many find more intense and pleasurable.
What Is the Kivin Method?
The technique’s origins are unclear, but it was mentioned in the 2001 book “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex.” Sex therapists and sexologists confirm that the sideways approach naturally alters stimulation. “Taking a sideways approach to oral sex naturally changes the stimulation,” said Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author of “Ride ’Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking.” The position may also be more comfortable for the giver’s neck, allowing longer sessions and more pleasure for the receiver.
Benefits of the Sideways Approach
Allison noted that the position frees the giver’s hands for other touches. “Your hands are free in a different way, so you can easily touch breasts, stomach, thighs, and hips from a new angle, creating a fuller experience,” she told HuffPost. “Internal stimulation can be easier to incorporate. With this new position, it can be easier to provide vaginal, G-spot, or even anal play at the same time.” Additionally, the receiver can more easily caress the giver, fostering intimacy. “This makes for a more intimate and connected experience,” Allison said. “Try rubbing their shoulders, playing with their hair, or tease their nipples.”
Tips for Trying the Kivin Method
Greg Kilpatrick, a psychotherapist and sex therapist in Pasadena, California, recommends stretching beforehand. “We stretch at the gym, before and during a run or yoga. All of these other activities where we really want our bodies to show up, sex shouldn’t be any different,” he said. Keeley Rankin, a sex and relationship coach in San Francisco, suggests trying the position on a couch with the giver kneeling. “I think one of the most important things with anything having to do with sex, especially oral sex, is enthusiasm, and so much of that is needing to be comfortable while doing it,” Rankin said. “You’re not going to have a ton of enthusiasm if you’re worried how your neck is going to feel tomorrow.”
Allison also recommends a variation where the receiver lies on their side. “Bend the top leg and lift it slightly to open up. Then you come in from the side in the ‘T’ position. Same concept, just a different feel.” Using a pillow under the hips while the receiver is on their back can also help. “The giver can lie on their stomach, and it really does feel like everything is perfectly presented ― easy access, great angle,” she said.
Communication and Technique
Kilpatrick emphasized the importance of communication. “This is particularly the case in heterosexual sex; there are plenty of erogenous areas that can be totally missed without exploration and conversation,” he said. He suggested making analogies, like comparing the labia to the scrotum. “When we slow down and make connections like this, it suddenly can make more sense, and lead to more opportunities for pleasure.”
Allison recommends a technique called “The Velvet Glide” for the Kivin method. “Create a soft seal with your lips over the entire vulva and keep a gentle, steady suction ― nothing too intense. Then slowly glide side-to-side along the full length of the vulva. Let it feel smooth and continuous as if you were gliding your puckered lips across corn on the cob.” The key is consistency and coverage. “With the Kivin method, you’re stimulating more areas at once and building anticipation instead of focusing only on the clitoris. There are thousands of pleasure enhancing nerve endings all over the inner labia as well, and you’ll be offering more coverage for heightened sensations.”
