Dear Abby: Wife Discovers Abusive Husband's Secret Plan to Leave After 15 Years
In a heartbreaking revelation that has captured national attention, a Texas woman has discovered her husband's secret plan to leave their 15-year marriage after accidentally finding incriminating messages on his phone. The woman, who identifies herself only as "Shocked in Texas," wrote to advice columnist Dear Abby seeking guidance after the devastating discovery.
The Discovery That Changed Everything
The woman explained that she had been married for 15 years to a former military veteran who suffers from PTSD. Throughout their marriage, he had been verbally abusive and controlling, while she had consistently worked to support the family, sometimes holding down two jobs simultaneously. The couple has a 14-year-old son together.
The shocking revelation came when she picked up her husband's phone to double-check an address for his sister's new home. Among his recent messages, she discovered a conversation where he told his sister he was "in hell living with me" and that he "didn't give a damn about me." Even more devastating was his request to move in with his sister, to which she readily agreed.
"He said he would figure a way out, and that there was always a way out," the woman wrote, expressing her complete devastation at discovering her husband's secret plans.
The Emotional Aftermath
Despite years of supporting her husband through his PTSD and abusive behavior, the woman found herself blindsided by his planned departure. "I am beyond devastated," she confessed. "I have always been supportive of him; now this. Part of me says I should be relieved. Why does it hurt so much?"
Dear Abby responded with compassionate but firm advice, explaining that the pain stems from being "caught flat-footed, without a clue that your husband is planning on leaving you." The columnist emphasized the urgency of the situation, advising the woman to be glad she discovered the plan when she did.
Critical Advice for Protection
In her response published on February 2, 2026, Dear Abby offered crucial guidance for the woman's immediate next steps:
- Schedule an appointment with an attorney immediately to protect herself from potential financial consequences
- Identify all marital assets and understand their full extent
- Follow legal counsel closely regarding all decisions moving forward
"You haven't a moment to waste," Dear Abby emphasized, adding that she was "rooting for" the woman as she navigates this difficult situation.
Additional Advice Column: Single Parent Faces Family Boundary Issues
The same column featured another letter from "Violated in Oregon," a single parent with two children ages 9 and 10 who has been diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension, a serious heart-lung condition. Despite being classified as physically disabled, new medications have significantly improved her condition compared to when her children were younger.
The woman described a troubling situation where her mother, who helps with weekly apartment cleaning and holds an emergency key, has been removing items from her home without permission. When confronted, her mother has engaged in gaslighting behavior, denying wrongdoing despite being caught multiple times.
Dear Abby validated the woman's feelings, stating that her trust had indeed been violated and that her mother's behavior was "shameful." The columnist recommended:
- Exploring alternative housekeeping assistance through state social services
- Consulting with her doctor about available support programs
- Securing valuable items if continuing to accept her mother's help
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, continuing the legacy founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column continues to provide guidance on complex family and relationship issues affecting readers across North America.
