Viral Essay on Political Divide Sparks Family Crisis and Holiday Cancellations
In 2024, I authored and published a deeply personal essay titled "My Husband And His Family Voted For Trump, So I'm Canceling Thanksgiving And Christmas" on HuffPost Personal. The piece exploded across the internet almost immediately, achieving viral status with over a million views within mere hours. As a writer, this was the dream scenario—creating content that resonates widely, makes audiences feel less isolated, and sparks crucial conversations, particularly following what felt like a national tragedy.
Initial Reactions and Sinister Backlash
Despite our starkly different political perspectives, my husband initially celebrated my success. We even shared laughs over some of the absurd comments and emails flooding my inbox. However, the tone quickly darkened. Among the supportive messages were sinister and threatening communications, including one that warned, "When the internment camps are built, you will be the first inmate." My husband was furious and wanted to respond, but I advised against engagement, seeing little point in fueling such negativity.
Family Discovery and Escalating Tensions
Within twenty-four hours, the situation shifted dramatically when my husband's family discovered the article. They expressed deep concern for our marriage, careers, and safety, surprised that I would publicly address such private matters. I was taken aback by their reaction—why shouldn't I speak out about something that upset me and resonated with so many others? My intention was to foster connection during a fractured time.
I reached out to remind them of my love while questioning their political choices. Some calls were accepted, others ignored. Despite this, I remained steadfast, bolstered by emails from strangers thanking me for my courage and sharing similar struggles with loved ones.
Thanksgiving Alone and Marital Breakdown
As my husband's family grew more concerned, so did he. The playful laughter at messages faded, replaced by stress. On Thanksgiving, I sat alone at our dining room table, eating from a styrofoam container while seven empty chairs surrounded me. True to my word, I had canceled the holiday, so my husband went to his parents' house without me.
Upon his return, his demeanor had changed drastically. "You violated my family. I don't know how we move on from this," he stated, repeating the word "violated." When I asked if this meant divorce, he responded, "I don't know." I spent the day trying to uncover what happened at his parents' house that caused such a reversal, but he insisted some family members were "done" with me.
Marriage Therapy and Political Silence
We urgently sought marriage counseling, sending the therapist the article and explaining the situation. Her advice was to respect each other's positions and avoid political discussions entirely. While I struggle to respect views tied to the hurt caused by Trump, my love for my husband compelled me to agree, focusing on our relationship's positive aspects. Simultaneously, I vowed to fight harder against what I perceive as threats to our country.
Irreparable Damage and Ongoing Strain
As Christmas approached, I offered an olive branch, telling my husband his family was welcome despite my earlier cancellation. He replied, "It's too late for that." Throughout 2025, we acknowledged family birthdays only through texts, never gathering in person. My husband refused to attend celebrations without me, stating, "If they're done with my wife, then I'm not coming." This sacrifice tore me apart, witnessing him caught between his family and me.
We continued working on our marriage, mostly avoiding politics, though occasional frustrations over headlines led to tense moments. Despite our divergent views on the country and presidency, our deep love remains unwavering.
Broader Implications and Personal Resolve
I know many navigate similar divides, with some unable to find common ground or choosing to walk away. I respect those decisions but cannot dictate what's right for others. I remain distraught over Trump's impact and terrified of future actions, advocating for women's rights, LGBTQIA+ safety, and an end to family separations by ICE.
This past year, instead of canceling Thanksgiving, I expanded my guest list to include diverse friends and family, like my ex-husband and close friends. I mourn the loved ones absent from our table. Since November 2024, much has been lost, but I'm ready to move forward without compromising my beliefs. I believe in this country's potential and its people, channeling my fury into hope for progressive victories and a better path forward.
All I can do is share my stories, however fraught or dangerous to fragile connections, with love and good intentions. This year, I'm more thankful than ever for that opportunity.
