The Viral Essay That Changed Everything
Last year, Andrea Tate published a deeply personal essay titled "My Husband And His Family Voted For Trump, So I'm Canceling Thanksgiving And Christmas" on HuffPost Personal. The piece immediately went viral, attracting over a million views within hours and touching a national nerve.
Andrea experienced the writer's dream come true. "I stood up straighter. I felt lighter. My step had a bounce, and I felt inspired to keep moving and do even more," she recalls. The overwhelming response made her feel she had created something that helped others feel less alone during politically turbulent times.
Initially, her husband shared in her success, reading through comments and emails together. They laughed at absurd messages like "You need to divorce her and marry me. She doesn't deserve a good man like you." However, the tone quickly turned darker with threatening messages including one that warned, "When the internment camps are built, you will be the first inmate."
Family Fallout and Marriage Strain
Within 24 hours, the situation transformed completely when her husband's family discovered the article. They expressed concern about their marriage, jobs, and safety, surprised that Andrea would speak so publicly about what they considered private family matters.
Andrea reached out to remind them she loved them but couldn't understand their political choices. Some calls were accepted, others ignored. She remained steadfast, bolstered by emails from strangers thanking her for courageously expressing what they were experiencing with their own loved ones.
As her husband's family grew more concerned, so did he. The laughter at online messages stopped, replaced by growing tension. On Thanksgiving, Andrea sat alone at their dining room table eating from a styrofoam container while seven chairs remained empty. Her husband went to his parents' house without her.
When he returned, everything had changed. "You violated my family. I don't know how we move on from this. You violated my family, Andrea," he told her. When she asked if he meant divorce, he responded, "I don't know."
Seeking Common Ground Amid Differences
The couple sought marriage counseling immediately. The therapist advised respecting each other's positions and avoiding political discussions altogether. While Andrea finds this challenging given the hurt she believes Trump has caused, her love for her husband prevails. "I love my husband more than anything, and I do not want to lose him," she emphasizes.
She agreed to set aside differences and focus on their relationship's positive aspects while making a personal commitment to continue fighting against what she sees happening in the country.
When Christmas approached, Andrea attempted reconciliation by telling her husband, "I know I said I'm cancelling Christmas, but if you want them here, I will not stand in your way." His response was definitive: "It's too late for that."
Throughout the following year, family relationships remained strained, with birthday acknowledgments limited to texts rather than celebrations. Andrea's husband stood by her, telling family members, "If they're done with my wife, then I'm not coming."
Moving Forward Without Compromise
This year, Andrea is taking a different approach. Instead of canceling Thanksgiving, she's expanding her guest list to include diverse friends and family, including her ex-husband and his brother. While sad about loved ones who won't be present, she's ready to move forward while maintaining her beliefs.
"So much has been lost since November 2024, and I'm ready to move forward and see what can be salvaged, but I won't compromise how I feel or my beliefs," Andrea states. She remains committed to speaking out about women's rights, LGBTQIA+ safety, and immigration issues while hoping her husband's family might eventually recognize what she sees as Trump's threat to democracy.
Andrea continues writing, with her essays featured in major publications including The L.A. Times, HuffPost, and MSN. She's currently working on her memoir, "Red and Blue," and maintains her website at AndreaTate.net along with her Substack, "I'll Show You."
