Dear Abby: Navigating Family Financial Strain and Marital Challenges
In a heartfelt advice column published on February 7, 2026, readers share their personal struggles with family dynamics and marital issues, seeking guidance from the renowned columnist Jeanne Phillips, known as Dear Abby. The column delves into two distinct yet emotionally charged situations that resonate with many families across Canada and beyond.
A Father's Heartbreak Over Financial Deception
A father, who identifies as "Old Man in the Mountains," expresses deep hurt over his daughter Marie's behavior regarding a significant loan. He explains that he has grown children, grandchildren, and a great-grandchild, but feels some family members treat him as if he must cater to their every whim. While he often provides financial support, sometimes as gifts and other times as loans with clear repayment terms, Marie borrowed a large sum with an agreement to pay it back in instalments.
Marie initially repaid a portion of the money, but when the next payment was due, she claimed her first instalment was three times higher than it actually was. When confronted, she insisted on the inflated amount, leading to a breakdown in trust. The father notes that Marie has since stopped making payments and ceased borrowing, but the conflict escalated when she tried to talk down to him, prompting his wife of 30 years to intervene.
Since then, Marie has stopped speaking to her parents and accused the wife of blocking communication channels, though the father admits he was the one who blocked her emails, calls, and texts. He is left feeling deeply hurt and unable to move past the disrespectful treatment from his grown child.
Dear Abby responds with empathy, stating that the hurt is understandable. She describes Marie as self-entitled and disrespectful, noting that the father's kindness was met with verbal attacks and failure to repay the loan. However, Abby advises against blocking Marie's contact, suggesting it may prevent a future apology and reconciliation.
A Husband's Fight to Save His Marriage
In a separate letter, a husband from Maine, signing as "Disappointed Husband," shares his marital crisis. His wife of 10 years has asked for a separation and is set on divorce, citing that over the past four years since they had children (aged 2 and 4), he has "chipped away at her self-esteem and self-worth."
In response to this revelation, the husband has taken proactive steps to address his issues. He has started seeing a therapist, gone on antidepressants, and joined an empathy group session for men. He now recognizes that his untreated depression and negative self-image caused hurt and pain, and he is committed to changing to save the marriage.
He recalls supporting his wife through a major depression episode a year ago and expresses that he is still in love with her, but she says she will always love him without being "in love" anymore. He is working on giving her space to heal but seeks further advice.
Dear Abby recommends asking the wife to consider couples counselling with a licensed marriage and family therapist. She emphasizes the importance of involving the children, noting that even if counselling does not lead to reconciliation, it could benefit everyone during the divorce process and beyond. Abby acknowledges that reuniting is uncertain but highlights the potential for improved relationships in the future.
Background on the Advice Column
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column has been a trusted source of advice for decades, addressing a wide range of personal and family issues. Readers can contact Dear Abby through DearAbby.com or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
This column underscores the complexities of family finances and marital bonds, offering insights that many Canadians may find relatable in their own lives. The advice provided encourages open communication, professional support, and patience in navigating emotional challenges.
