In a recent installment of the popular advice column Dear Abby, a Florida woman has raised concerns about her longtime boyfriend's unusual annual tradition involving his ex-wife. The letter, published on February 5, 2026, reveals a relationship dynamic that has left the writer feeling excluded and questioning her partner's priorities.
An Unconventional Annual Arrangement
The woman, who signs her letter "Left Out in Florida," describes a situation where her boyfriend, divorced for more than twenty years, hosts his former spouse and another female friend at his home for one to two weeks each year. During this period, he reportedly caters to their needs by driving them around and entertaining them at restaurants.
What makes this situation particularly troubling for the letter writer is that she is never included in these annual visits, despite expressing interest in participating. She notes that she consistently includes her boyfriend when she has houseguests, creating what she perceives as an unequal dynamic in their relationship.
Feelings of Exclusion and Disrespect
The Florida woman openly questions whether she is wrong to feel resentful about never being introduced to these annual houseguests. She describes the situation as disrespectful, particularly given the longevity of her relationship with the man in question.
"Am I wrong in thinking this is disrespectful to me and for feeling resentful over having never been introduced to his annual houseguests?" she asks Dear Abby, highlighting the emotional toll this annual exclusion has taken on her.
Dear Abby's Response
Advice columnist Jeanne Phillips, writing under the pen name Abigail Van Buren, offers a direct response to the concerned Florida woman. Phillips suggests that the boyfriend's behavior indicates he may be treating his current partner as "his guilty secret rather than his lady friend."
The columnist raises an important question: "Is his ex aware that he has a girlfriend?" This query points to a potential lack of transparency in the boyfriend's relationships that might be contributing to the problem.
Practical Advice for a Recurring Problem
Phillips validates the woman's feelings, stating she can't blame her for feeling disrespected and excluded. Given that this is an annual event, the columnist offers a practical suggestion: "It may be time to consider taking a vacation of your own during the time your boyfriend will be AWOL."
This recommendation acknowledges the recurring nature of the problem while providing the woman with agency to create her own positive experiences during what has become a difficult period each year.
Additional Reader Concerns Addressed
The same column includes responses to two other letters from readers seeking advice:
- Dog Anxiety in the Neighborhood: A 76-year-old from the East describes challenges with neighborhood dog walkers who want her to interact with their pets despite her fear of dogs. Abby suggests smiling but continuing to walk without stopping for extended encounters.
- Gift-Giving Overload: An 80-year-old Massachusetts woman seeks advice on reducing excessive gift-giving from family members. Abby recommends honest conversations about preferring charitable donations instead of physical gifts.
The Dear Abby column, founded by Pauline Phillips and currently written by her daughter Jeanne Phillips, continues to address relationship dilemmas and social challenges faced by readers across North America. The Florida woman's situation highlights how established patterns in relationships can create ongoing tension when partners have different expectations about boundaries with former spouses.
