A woman with cancer is grappling with guilt after feeling she has let down her 100-year-old mother by not traveling to help her. In a letter to the Dear Abby advice column, the woman, who identifies herself as from Washington, explains that she was recently diagnosed with the disease, which she says runs in her family. She caught it early and doctors expect a cure, but her white blood cell count is low, leaving her immunocompromised.
Medical Risks Prevent Travel
The woman states she cannot fly across five states to be with her mother because of her weakened immune system. She has shared her diagnosis with her children, husband, and best friend, but has not told her mother, who she describes as frail but still mentally sharp. The daughter fears burdening her mother with the news, especially since she believes she would outlive her even if she had only five years to live.
“My mother has been asking for my help, but I cannot take a chance on flying across five states to be with her (I am short of white blood cells and immunity). Now I feel she and my cousins are condemning my absence,” the letter reads.
Abby's Advice: Honesty Without Scare Words
In her response, Dear Abby advises the daughter to tell her mother that she loves her and would help if she could, but that her doctor has advised against travel because her immune system is low. Abby suggests avoiding the word “cancer” unless the mother asks directly. “If she is as with-it as you think, she will ask, and you should tell her the truth. You are a loving daughter, but you may be infantilizing your mother by keeping this from her,” Abby writes.
The column also features a second letter from a reader in Georgia who describes a suspicious encounter at a department store. A well-dressed young man and a jewelry clerk asked the reader to use their store card to buy jewelry at a nearly 50% discount, with the man offering cash in exchange. The reader declined, and Abby confirms that the reader dodged a potential money laundering or credit card fraud scheme, praising their intuition.
