In a recent Dear Abby column, a mother from Virginia expresses her disappointment with her son's girlfriend, Trish, citing a rude first meeting and lack of effort to connect with the family. The mother, signing as "Anxious Mom in Virginia," worries that her son may marry Trish and that she will have to tolerate rather than love her future daughter-in-law.
Mother's Concerns
The mother describes her son's history of dating "needy women," which she believes boosts his ego but reflects poorly on them. The initial encounter with Trish was unpleasant, as Trish reportedly failed to acknowledge those in the room, which the mother considers a basic courtesy. The son claims Trish was nervous, but the mother remains unconvinced.
She adds that Trish has made no effort to know the family, including the son's brother, and does not view them as factors in her son's life. The mother desires a loving relationship with her daughter-in-law, not mere tolerance.
Abby's Advice
Dear Abby advises the mother not to assume marriage is imminent, as the son's intentions are unclear. Instead, Abby suggests extending herself to make a friend of Trish rather than an enemy. She recommends learning about Trish's background, including her relationship with her own mother and her knowledge of etiquette, as she may never have been taught proper social graces. By reaching out, the mother may eventually develop a loving bond with her potential daughter-in-law.
Abby concludes with a wish of luck, emphasizing the importance of effort in building a positive relationship.
Second Letter: Unrequited Love
The column also features a letter from a Canadian reader who has developed deep romantic feelings for a close friend, Drew, who is in a relationship. The reader, signing as "His Non-Boyfriend," describes daily communication and a strong emotional connection, but fears the feelings are not mutual and cannot confess or end the friendship.
Abby advises the reader to have an honest conversation with Drew, asking if his partner knows about their intense friendship. She notes that such frequent contact often indicates more than friendship. If feelings are mutual, the pair must plan accordingly; if not, the reader needs to accept reality.
