In January, the American Enterprise Institute released a survey revealing that 52% of single heterosexual women are less likely to date a Donald Trump supporter, compared to 36% of single heterosexual men. As Inauguration Day approached, Hily, a dating app with over 35 million users, published a study showing that 1 in 3 American women would decline a date due to political differences, while only 1 in 10 men would do the same. This disparity may explain why heterosexual men increasingly misrepresent their political leanings on dating apps by listing themselves as 'moderate' or being vague about their politics.
The Rise of the 'Moderate' Profile
Ella, a Los Angeles resident, told HuffPost that she has grown frustrated with men labeled as 'moderate' on Hinge, as many turned out to be far-right and anti-feminist after extensive texting. She now swipes left on all moderates, suspecting that conservative men in liberal cities lie to secure dates.
Amanda, creator of the 'Dating Is Dead' Instagram account, ended a two-year relationship with a man who listed 'moderate' but revealed conservative views during the second Trump administration. She felt 'catfished' and now asks about politics early in dates, leading to a seven-minute date with a Trump voter who dismissed her concerns.
Why Boundaries Matter
Cheryl Groskopf, an LA-based therapist, notes that for many women—especially women of color, queer women, and those with trauma histories—conservative beliefs feel like a threat. 'This kind of dishonesty can feel like a violation,' she says. Groskopf emphasizes that women need boundaries to protect their energy and safety.
Why Men Misrepresent Themselves
Marisa T. Cohen, a relationship expert with Hily, suggests that men may misrepresent their views to appeal to a broader range of women or because they perceive being judged unfairly. Some may also misjudge their own views, thinking they are progressive compared to their associates.
Groskopf adds that many men have not learned to connect their political beliefs to others' safety, viewing 'moderate' as neutral rather than vague. However, for women, this vagueness is a red flag.
How to Spot a False 'Moderate'
Experts advise asking direct questions: 'What does moderate mean to you?' 'How do your values show up in daily life?' 'Where do you stand on women's rights?' If a date becomes defensive, minimizes questions, or talks in circles, that is a red flag. Trust your instincts and non-negotiables.
As Cohen concludes, 'If learning about a person's political leanings matters to you, ask!'
