Widow's Fiance Objects to Photos of Late Husband
A reader identified as "Remembering in American Samoa" writes to Dear Abby about a conflict with her fiance. She has been a widow for nine years and recently became engaged. When she asked if she could place a picture of her late husband in their new home, her fiance became upset, stating he should not have to see images of a man who once "had" her.
Children and Memories at Stake
The widow has three children with her late husband, who was her high school sweetheart. She took his death extremely hard and feels her fiance is overreacting, wanting her to erase her past. The children will also live with them. She asks whether she should respect her fiance's wishes or stand her ground to keep her late husband's memory alive for her children.
Abby's Advice: A Red Flag
Dear Abby responds that this is a huge red flag, indicating the fiance is jealous and insecure. She warns that if he is upset by a photograph, he may struggle with the children, who are living reminders of the love she shared with her late husband. Abby advises that the widow is entitled to display a picture, though it need not be large or prominently placed. She strongly recommends further discussions and premarital counseling to resolve the issue.
Additional Letters: Mispronunciation and Scent Sensitivity
In another letter, "Annoyed in California" asks how to politely correct her college-educated husband's frequent mispronunciations of common names and words. Abby suggests making a list of trouble words and discussing it with him in a relaxed moment, explaining she raises the subject out of love.
A third reader, "Hesitant Niece in Nevada," describes how plug-in home fragrances at her aunt's house cause headaches and require showering and washing clothes to remove the scent. Abby advises claiming a developed allergy to scents and asking the aunt to unplug the dispensers and air out the house before visits.
