In a world saturated with self-help mantras and motivational quotes, the question "Can you choose happiness?" resonates deeply, eliciting reactions ranging from inspiration to frustration. Registered psychologist Joan Neehall provides expert insight into this complex topic, highlighting the critical difference between genuine happiness and toxic positivity.
The Pursuit of Happiness: A Deliberate Choice
Neehall emphasizes that choosing happiness is indeed possible, but it requires a nuanced approach. It involves conscious decisions to engage in activities that foster well-being, such as practicing gratitude, nurturing relationships, and pursuing meaningful goals. This active selection is rooted in self-awareness and emotional intelligence, allowing individuals to navigate life's challenges while maintaining a positive outlook.
The Pitfalls of Toxic Positivity
However, Neehall warns against confusing this with toxic positivity—a harmful trend where negative emotions are dismissed or invalidated in favor of forced optimism. "Toxic positivity can be damaging," she explains. "It ignores authentic feelings like sadness, anger, or fear, leading to emotional suppression and increased stress." This phenomenon often manifests in phrases like "just think positive" or "look on the bright side," which can minimize real struggles and hinder emotional processing.
Striking a Healthy Balance
To cultivate true happiness, Neehall advises embracing a balanced perspective. This includes:
- Acknowledging all emotions without judgment, allowing space for both joy and sorrow.
- Practicing self-compassion during difficult times, rather than berating oneself for not being "happy enough."
- Seeking professional support when needed, as mental health is a journey that sometimes requires guidance.
By distinguishing between healthy happiness and toxic positivity, individuals can develop resilience and emotional authenticity. Neehall's insights remind us that while happiness is a choice, it must be made with kindness and realism, not as a mask for deeper issues.
