Dear Abby: Husband's Sobriety Has Not Calmed His Anger
A reader, signing as "Doing My Part in Oklahoma," writes to Dear Abby about her husband of 12 years. He is an alcoholic who has been sober for several years, but his anger issues persist. He argues constantly and verbally abuses her, her children, and grandchildren, except for her son whom he fears. He also criticizes her daughter-in-law, who is a hardworking Army Reservist, social worker, and mother. The reader helps care for her granddaughter three days a week, which angers her husband. She is considering divorce but feels guilty about putting her kids and grandkids first.
Abby responds that her husband may be a "dry drunk"—someone who stopped drinking but never addressed underlying issues. She emphasizes that the reader is not wrong for wanting a life free from hostility and verbal abuse, nor for protecting her family. Abby advises consulting a family law attorney to explore divorce options.
Second Letter: Excluding a Difficult Spouse from a Group Cruise
Another reader, "Travel Troubles," describes a group of 10 college friends, now couples. Seven couples remain married, while three have divorced. One divorced man remarried a woman who is demanding and narcissistic. The group is planning a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, but no one wants the new wife to join, fearing she will ruin the trip. They ask how to tell the husband he and his wife are not invited.
Abby warns that excluding the couple risks alienating the friend. If the group proceeds, the closest friend should privately explain the decision, citing specific past behaviors. She suggests extending a solo invitation to the husband, as he might appreciate a break from his wife.
