Rosie O'Donnell's revelation that she had a face-lift costing more than she ever paid for a car is pure poetry. The comedian and actress set her nip-and-tuck tale to verse in a Substack post on Tuesday, offering one of the more novel celebrity confessions in recent memory.
A Poetic Confession
In her poem, O'Donnell wrote: "I used to feel very strongly about facelifts. Not casually - morally. / I had assigned myself as head / of all women who would never - ever." However, she later admitted, "There's a point where acceptance / starts to feel like lying."
O'Donnell shared that she underwent a procedure in January to rejuvenate her lower face and neck. She emphasized that she didn't want to overdo it, simply aiming to look "less haunted." The result, she noted, was a "slightly more well-rested emotionally stable version of me."
Reactions and Reflections
Other people's reactions, however, were a different story. "And guess what - no one has noticed," she wrote. "Not one person. / Not a friend, not a stranger, / not even people who owe me compliments / My teenager has not said a word. Nothing. / I went through a full existential feminist crisis, / had my face and neck surgically altered, / and the result is… zippo."
The guilt also played a role. "It cost more money / Than I have ever paid for a car / such is my privileged place in this world," she wrote. "And that feels almost shameful to me / The things I have - / Earned some say / But its the gross excess that wounds me."
A Positive Outcome
O'Donnell concluded on an upbeat note, stating she is "happier than I've been in years." She also posted before and after photos on Instagram, showcasing the results of her surgery.
The comedian and star of "A League of Their Own" applied for Irish citizenship last year, which prompted a snide response from a representative for her longtime nemesis, President Donald Trump. The White House spokesperson wrote: "What great news for America!"
