A Family Torn Apart by Abandonment Faces New Challenges
A woman who endured a painful separation from her husband of 39 years is now grappling with his sudden desire to reunite with the family after his second wife's death. The ex-husband, an alcoholic and spendthrift, left in 2010 for an affair with his boss, causing deep resentment among his wife and two grown sons.
For years, contact was minimal, limited to twice-yearly updates. However, following the death of his second wife a few months ago, the ex-husband has been reaching out, seeking friendship and a return to family life. He has been sober for a decade through Alcoholics Anonymous but remains lonely and depressed, lacking friends and a purpose in retirement.
The family, however, is reluctant to re-engage. The older son, Justin, has reluctantly become the recipient of his father's constant texts and emails, while the younger son maintains minimal contact. Justin's recent marriage has added another layer of complexity, as his wife is wary of Morris disrupting their lives. The situation has created a rift between the brothers, with Justin shouldering the burden while his sibling remains distant.
Dear Abby's advice is firm: the family is not responsible for Morris's emotional well-being. She emphasizes that he abandoned them and should seek support from AA meetings rather than disrupting their lives further. She warns that Justin's continued involvement could jeopardize his marriage and urges the family to set clear boundaries.
In a second letter, a couple struggles with their daughter's divorced ex-husband still living in her home. Despite a legal divorce, he remains, spending his money unwisely while the daughter feels pity for his lack of housing. The parents offered a down payment for a new home, but the daughter refused. Abby suggests an unconventional solution: invite the ex to stay with the parents, which might motivate him to leave. She also advises the daughter to consult her attorney about potential financial liabilities.
