A wife's discomfort over her husband's unconventional sleeping arrangements has sparked a debate about boundaries within a platonic relationship. The woman, writing to the popular advice column Dear Abby, detailed a situation where her 58-year-old husband shared a bed in their camper van with a 21-year-old female family friend on multiple occasions.
The Core of the Conflict
The letter, signed "Inappropriate in the East," explains that the incidents occurred in the wife's absence. While the husband views the young woman as a "daughter" and the wife states she is not concerned about infidelity, she firmly believes the act itself was inappropriate. Despite her expressing her feelings and asking him not to repeat the behavior, it happened again. Her husband maintains that the sleeping arrangement is perfectly acceptable, creating a clear rift in their perspectives on personal boundaries.
Dear Abby's Firm Response
In her response published on December 18, 2025, the columnist, Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), sided clearly with the concerned wife. Abby called the situation "unusual and inappropriate," emphasizing that the husband's persistence was particularly problematic after his wife had voiced her objection.
"I can’t help but wonder why no other sleeping arrangement was possible, and what her parents (who, I assume, are friends) think about the arrangement," Abby wrote. She then offered direct advice, suggesting the wife consider having a conversation with the 21-year-old woman herself, hinting that such a discussion might provide new insight into the dynamic.
Additional Reader Questions Addressed
The same column edition featured other reader dilemmas. One writer from Kentucky sought guidance on dealing with a family member in her 60s believed to have narcissistic personality disorder, whose behavior has caused significant family upheaval. Abby recommended that affected family members seek therapy to learn how to manage their interactions with her, acknowledging that they cannot change the individual's behavior.
Another query from Illinois asked about the protocol for including a deceased person's close friend or companion in an obituary. Abby offered reassurance, explaining that omission is often not deliberate but a result of the grieving family's distress. She noted that if the deceased had left specific instructions, the family should have honored them.
The primary camper van scenario underscores ongoing conversations about generational friendships, trust within marriage, and the subjective nature of appropriate behavior. While the husband sees a harmless, paternal gesture, his wife perceives a crossed boundary that, once identified, deserves respect. Dear Abby's counsel reinforces the importance of mutual comfort and clear communication in navigating complex personal relationships.
