The Enduring Question of Masculinity in Contemporary Society
In a quiet Calgary office several months ago, a twenty-five-year-old man named Gabriel settled onto a couch and posed a deceptively simple question to Reverend John Pentland: "What is a man?" This inquiry, which initially prompted laughter followed by contemplative silence, has since evolved into a profound exploration of modern masculinity that resonates across generations and cultural boundaries.
A Question That Defies Simple Answers
Pentland's initial response to Gabriel—"I have been trying to figure that out my whole life"—set the stage for a rich and honest dialogue about masculine identity. Their conversation explored admired male figures, the qualities they embodied, and the inherent danger of reducing such complex questions to simplistic definitions. Some questions, Pentland realized, actively resist easy answers, and the nature of modern manhood appears to be one of them.
Since that pivotal afternoon, the question has lingered with Pentland, resurfacing in his readings, podcast listening, and cultural observations. He notes the particular urgency of this inquiry during a period when many young men appear isolated, disconnected, and uncertain about their identities and societal expectations.
Scott Galloway's Perspective on Male Identity
One of Pentland's first investigative stops was Scott Galloway's influential book Notes on Being a Man, which he discovered while driving and listening to a radio interview. Galloway expresses genuine concern about young men who feel disengaged and isolated, observing that "few groups have fallen so far, so quickly" in contemporary society.
Drawing from his personal experience growing up with a single mother and limited resources, Galloway reflects on the combination of effort, opportunity, and good fortune that guided his own path. He thoughtfully examines three traditional roles that have historically shaped expectations of men:
- To provide for others
- To protect those in their care
- To procreate and continue family lines
While these concepts might sound dated to some contemporary ears, Galloway approaches them with nuance, blending personal narrative with research-based insights.
Identity as an Active Journey
What Pentland found most compelling in Galloway's work was the insistence that identity isn't something passively received but rather something actively cultivated through experience and reflection. From this perspective, the question of who we are transcends social categorization and becomes a deeply spiritual inquiry relevant to all genders.
Galloway emphasizes the critical importance of intergenerational relationships, arguing that young men particularly benefit from older male mentors willing to walk alongside them and encourage meaningful engagement with the world. His advice is refreshingly straightforward: "get up, get out, show up."
True growth, according to this perspective, emerges through active participation—through movement, reflection, and genuine connection. The book addresses topics like emotions, exercise, sexuality, and love with refreshing honesty rather than shame, advocating for holistic care of both body and soul.
Popular Culture's Role in Shaping Conversations
As Pentland continued his exploration, he recognized another significant cultural force influencing contemporary discussions about men and intimacy: popular storytelling. The CraveTV series Heated Rivalry has captured widespread attention, appealing to audiences across gender lines with its nuanced portrayal of relationships.
Curious about the series' broad appeal, Pentland consulted with a friend who offered thoughtful perspective on why this particular narrative resonates so deeply with modern viewers. The show serves as a reminder that what matters most isn't necessarily whom we love, but rather that we learn how to love authentically—a crucial component of answering the call to become our best human selves.
This cultural conversation, blending personal reflection, academic insight, and popular narrative, continues to evolve as society grapples with the multifaceted nature of modern masculinity in an increasingly complex world.
