A Colorado woman has turned to renowned advice columnist Dear Abby after discovering her husband frequently mentions his deceased former girlfriend while sleeping, creating tension in their nearly five-year marriage.
The Troubling Sleep Patterns
The wife, who signed her letter "Dreads the Bed in Colorado," revealed that her husband had been in an on-again, off-again relationship with his former partner for fifteen years before her death. The situation became particularly complicated when the husband married his current wife just three months after being released from prison, where he had been incarcerated when his ex-girlfriend passed away.
According to the distressed wife, almost every night during sleep, her husband vocalizes his late ex-girlfriend's name and expresses love for her. The husband claims he's unaware of this behavior since it occurs while he's asleep, and he becomes upset that his wife is disturbed by something he cannot consciously control.
Abby's Compassionate Response
Jeanne Phillips, writing as Dear Abby, offered practical advice tempered with understanding. She acknowledged that the husband's long history with his former girlfriend—spanning fifteen years compared to his current four-and-a-half-year marriage—might explain why these subconscious expressions persist.
Abby suggested a gentle approach: if the sleep talking wakes the wife, she should calmly wake her husband without specifying the content of his dreams. The columnist emphasized that while the behavior is understandably painful, the wife should remember that "she is history, and you are right next to him."
Additional Relationship Dilemmas
The same column addressed two other relationship concerns from readers across the United States. A California senior widow expressed frustration about her dating partner's habit of constantly staring at other women, despite her attempts to establish boundaries through what she called a "five-second rule."
Meanwhile, a Wisconsin man married for thirty-one years described how political disagreements with his wife have cooled both their arguments and their sexual intimacy. The situation escalated when his wife issued an ultimatum: switch political allegiances or face separation.
For the California woman, Abby recognized the behavior as a red flag and recommended seeking a more considerate companion. For the Wisconsin couple, she suggested individual counseling and acknowledged that the wife's demand to change political views was unrealistic.
Dear Abby, founded by Pauline Phillips and now written by her daughter Jeanne Phillips, continues to provide guidance on personal and relationship matters through her syndicated column and online platform.
