A Canadian woman's new marriage has been thrown into turmoil after she received an unsettling anonymous message about her husband, seeking guidance from the renowned advice columnist Dear Abby.
The Anonymous Revelation
The woman, who signed her letter "Losing Again in Canada," revealed she has been married for just two months. She had only shared her marital status with close friends and family when she received a mysterious message stating that her husband has Asperger's syndrome. The anonymous sender knew her name and phone number, leaving her disturbed about their identity and motives.
The timing couldn't be worse for the newlywed, who recently lost her mother to cancer and now faces this unexpected challenge during what should be a happy newlywed period.
A History of Trust Issues
The anonymous message has triggered significant distress for the woman, who admits she already suspected her husband might have Asperger's. What troubles her most isn't the potential diagnosis itself, but the implication of dishonesty in their relationship.
Having previously endured a relationship with a narcissist who lied regularly, she now worries she's facing similar trust issues with her new husband. "I'm so confused and upset," she wrote to Dear Abby. "I really do want to ask my husband to get assessed. I don't think I can trust him anymore."
Expert Advice for a Fragile Situation
Dear Abby, written by Jeanne Phillips, offered careful guidance for handling this delicate marital situation. The columnist pointed out that anonymous messages typically aim to cause trouble rather than provide genuine help.
The advice included practical steps: researching Asperger's syndrome online and contacting the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity (aane.org) for reliable information and support.
Phillips suggested the husband might not be intentionally lying but could be in denial about his condition. She emphasized that being on the autism spectrum doesn't have to destroy a marriage, noting that many successful people have Asperger's syndrome.
The final recommendation was clear: if reliable resources indicate Asperger's could explain her husband's behavior, she should suggest an assessment while understanding this doesn't necessarily mean the end of their marriage.
