As a mother of two autistic boys, I've navigated the full spectrum of meltdowns – from the heartbreaking to the genuinely dangerous. Yet, you will never find these intensely private struggles documented in my camera roll, let alone broadcasted for the world to see. This is the stark contrast I face every time I scroll through social media, where a disturbing trend of parents filming their children's most vulnerable moments has taken root under the guise of 'awareness.'
The Disturbing Reality of 'Awareness' Content
My journey began with a simple, terrifying moment: the first time my youngest son, then just three years old, headbanged so hard I heard the thud from another room. My instinct wasn't to grab my phone; it was to grab my child, check for injuries, and rush to the emergency room. I am the mother of two autistic boys with different support needs, and my primary role is their protector.
This protective instinct is what makes the current social media landscape so alarming. Routinely, I encounter videos where mothers shove cameras into their children's red, tear-streaked faces, attempting to recreate a meltdown that just occurred. In their child's moment of peak distress, their first thought isn't 'How do I comfort my child?' but rather, 'How can I capture this for content?'
I recall one particularly vile TikTok where a woman recorded her teenage son during a violent outburst over a preferred food. He ultimately attacked her. The comment section was a cesspool of cruelty. Her reward for this exploitation? The video was pinned to her profile, amassing five million views. Another creator has built an entire channel around montages of her child hitting her, edited to catchy viral sounds. Her method of 'handling' these moments is to call him names and lock him out of rooms when he's begging for connection. Her follower count sits around 700,000.
The Lasting Damage of a Digital Footprint
These parents often defend their actions as 'education' or 'spreading awareness' of #autismmomlife. But the internet does not need to see a child's most humiliating and painful struggles. Autistic children, especially those like my nonverbal youngest son, cannot consent to this exploitation. They are uniquely vulnerable, often unable to advocate for themselves.
Posting any child online is fraught with danger in the age of AI and sophisticated data tracking. For autistic children, the risks are compounded by the creation of a permanent digital footprint they never agreed to. These videos open them up to peer bullying, future profound embarrassment, and a lifetime of their hardest moments being just a click away.
My job during a public meltdown – the hitting, screaming, and dropping to the ground – isn't to make strangers comfortable. It's to make my child feel safe. He sees the same consistent, calm mother he has at home, talking him through it and asking questions even when he can't answer. He knows I'm there. This quiet, empathetic connection is what these content creators miss entirely, choosing performance over genuine care.
A Call for Dignity and Real Support
My children are so much more than their struggles. My oldest is 16, diagnosed at 13, a child who would have slipped through the cracks if I hadn't trusted my instincts when he screamed at the feeling of grass on his bare feet. My youngest is five, nonverbal and sometimes aggressive, but he is also a brilliant problem-solver, deeply affectionate, and loving. They both deserve privacy and dignity.
When my teenager spirals with anxiety or my youngest self-injures, those moments are ours, not the internet's. You do not need to broadcast your preschooler's potty-training struggles or meltdowns to 'educate' anyone. Awareness does not require humiliation.
If the goal is truly to educate and build community, there are better ways. Share your children's joy, their strengths, their unique quirks and accomplishments. Show the world that autistic children are deeply worthy of love and respect. I've seen beautiful accounts that do just this, celebrating humor, intelligence, and individuality. These are the stories we need.
What parents really need isn't viral fame, but more support, accessible respite care, affordable therapy, and flexible income opportunities for those who can't maintain traditional jobs due to constant school calls. The comment sections on these exploitative videos don't help; they are full of bullying and cruelty that only teach the world to dehumanize autistic kids further.
I truly hope for a day when autistic children are celebrated for their humanity, not their suffering. That's what I want for my boys, and for every child like them. Their hardest moments should be met with support, not a camera lens.
