I have begun telling a small, empowering lie about my age—but in reverse. Recently, while browsing an antiques store, I engaged in the kind of lighthearted, age-related banter that often occurs between seniors. Another woman and I, both over 75, were discussing vintage plates and, inevitably, ourselves as vintage people. When the shopkeeper tried to join in by suggesting she might be as old as us, I couldn't resist declaring, "You are probably not," and adding triumphantly, "I'm 80!" The shock on her face was deeply satisfying.
The Truth Behind the Lie
In reality, I am "only" 79, with my 80th birthday arriving in November. Yet, claiming to be 80 already feels empowering, much like the anticipation of being "almost 18" or "almost 20" in younger years. I am impatient for my birthday because I crave the respect accorded to elders. I want to trumpet my age and be acknowledged for what I still accomplish. When I share these views, many of my slightly younger friends look at me with horror. Here, as often in life, I take an unorthodox stance. I have always been reflexively oppositional, so instead of dreading old age, I now eagerly embrace my impending octogenarian status. I simply can't wait another eight months!
A Shift in Attitude with Age
Interestingly, I might not be as out of step as I thought. I have observed a curious phenomenon: around age 80, many people stop trying to conceal or minimize their age and instead start acknowledging and even bragging about it. This allows them to boast about their skills, activities, and clever workarounds. In youth, if you walk or talk early, you are called "precocious." I propose an analogous term for later life: "opsicocious."
Defining Opsicocious
Opsicocious (adjective) derives from the Greek root "opsimos," meaning late or delayed. It describes attempting new things or showing vigor and initiative at an age when such behavior is no longer expected. It is marked by late-blooming boldness. Examples of opsicocity include:
- Bill proving his opsicocious nature by starting a love affair on his 75th birthday.
- Corinne, who at 99, still drives her car.
- A mother climbing a ladder at an advanced age, prompting concern but also admiration.
Just as no one expects a 3-year-old to read, no one expects an 80-year-old to flirt. One is precocious; the other is opsicocious.
Everyday Triumphs in Aging
As you age, even ordinary activities become triumphs. Yesterday, I caught myself squatting to retrieve a sock from under the bed and thought, "Look at you! Eighty years old and bending down with ease!" Throughout the day, I celebrate similar achievements. When a younger woman speeds past me on a running path, I whisper, "Yeah, but I'm a lot older!" After executing a perfect three-point U-turn in my car, I proudly note it's not "driving like a little old lady." Later, I might murmur, "Betcha didn't think an 80-year-old could carry those groceries!" I even tell myself I'm quite stylish—for a woman of my age.
The Power of Self-Praise
When you are chronodefiant, the opportunities for self-praise are endless. The older you get, the more astonishing your accomplishments become, no matter how meager. By age 95, simply holding a toothbrush can feel like a wonder. This explains why many seniors not only reveal but declare their age with pride. Announcing your age can yield benefits. For instance, I like to think I look young for my age, so stating I'm 80 might create a shock that reflects well on me. On days when I feel more "crone" than "babe," revealing my age becomes even more crucial, as it frames my appearance as pretty good for my years.
Societal Perceptions and Empathy
For those who look older than their years, age disclosure can arouse sympathy and lead to favors, such as someone offering a seat on the subway. Moreover, when older individuals achieve the unexpected—like Clint Eastwood directing films at 95 or Willie Nelson performing at 93—it feels like a triumph for all seniors. Even if we cannot be opsicocious ourselves, we take pleasure in others who are.
A Shared Experience
I recently discussed this with a younger friend, introducing my coined term "opsicocious" and sharing my own opsicocious adventures, such as standing on dolphins, getting my nude body painted, and paragliding in the Alps in recent years. I mentioned how I frequently bring up my age. He responded, "That's funny! I'm not quite that bad, but I do keep telling people truthfully that I'm 72. Afterwards, I think, 'Who cares? Why are you telling people your age when nobody asks?'" I replied, "Welcome to my world! Have I mentioned turning 80?"
Catherine Hiller writes a weekly Substack newsletter called The Pleasure Principle and is working on a book about pleasure for those over 50, along with a humor book on old age. Her pioneering memoir, "Just Say Yes: A Marijuana Memoir," was recently reissued for its 10th anniversary. Her latest novel, "Cybill Unbound," explores the sexual adventures of an older woman. Hiller is also the author of a short story collection, "Skin," praised by John Updike, and five other novels. Her work has appeared in publications like the New York Times Sunday Review and AARP Magazine.
