Dear Abby: My husband and I recently discovered that our 14-year-old granddaughter, a high school freshman, is being encouraged to drink beer out of cans with her stepdad at parties and social gatherings at their home. This is illegal and deeply concerning. Our son, her biological father, fears that confronting the mother and stepdad will result in further withholding of his daughter. There is no formal custody agreement. We believe local authorities, child services, law enforcement, and the school counselor need to be notified. This is child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Please advise on the best course of action. — Alarmed in California
Dear Alarmed:
How did you learn about this? Did your granddaughter tell you? Has it happened multiple times? What does the ex-wife say? If your son is unsatisfied with the answers, he should consult a family law attorney. He may consider seeking full or partial custody, or at least a court order for regular visitation. If anyone tries to prevent visitation, then child protective services should become involved.
In another letter, a stepfather of 21 years is hurt that his step-granddaughter asked her mother's boyfriend and her brother to walk her down the aisle, leaving him out. He is considering not attending the wedding. Dear Abby advises that his wife should discuss this with her daughter and granddaughter. Perhaps a compromise can be reached, such as him escorting her partway. However, boycotting the wedding is not recommended, as the day is about the couple, not him.
