The loneliness epidemic is driving a surge in grief retreats, with some costing up to US$1,000 a day. These retreats are emerging as a way for the bereaved to avoid 'bowling alone,' a reference to Harvard professor Robert Putnam's 2000 book that highlighted the decline of social connections.
The Rise of Grief Retreats
When Putnam published Bowling Alone, smartphones did not exist. Yet social life was already shifting toward screens and away from community groups, religious organizations, and bowling clubs. Today, the median time American adults spend staring at smartphones is six hours per day. This screen dependency has led to increased loneliness, which has changed the way people grieve.
According to a 2019 study by WebMD, more than one-third of adults in the U.S. are grieving a recent loss at any given time. Among them, 17 percent feel isolated from family and friends. Thea Gallagher, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NYU Langone, notes that many people are moving through profound loss without the built-in community that used to help them process it. This makes grief feel not just heavy but acutely isolating.
Personal Experience
The author of the article shares a personal story: after her younger brother died two years ago, most friends sent only text messages offering 'virtual big hugs' and 'thoughts and prayers.' When her mother passed away 14 months later, she kept the news quiet to avoid feeling rejection and abandonment. Strangers sometimes offered more comfort, such as an old man in a New York City park who let her cry on his shoulder, or a woman at a local bathhouse who checked in on her.
What the author needed was community. She sought it by reading books and articles on grief and starting a grief newsletter to connect with others. However, the most effective suggestion came from her therapist: traveling to grieve with others.
Growth of Grief Retreats
Grief retreats are now a way for the bereaved to avoid 'bowling alone.' Miraval Resorts created one of the first in Tucson, Arizona, in 2005. Since then, these retreats have grown in proportion with our cultural ability to tend to mental wellbeing. They are now cropping up at wellness resorts from Massachusetts to Mexico and beyond. These retreats often pair traditional activities like yoga, meditation, and massage with facilitator-led grief workshops, journaling sessions, and nature walks.
The loneliness epidemic has made us unable to focus and has polarized society. Mental health detriments include depression, anxiety, and difficulty concentrating. However, less time has been spent studying how loneliness changes the ways we grieve. Grief retreats offer a solution by providing a supportive community for those experiencing loss.
