The ladies of the internet never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week's great tweets, threads and other posts from women, and then visit our 'Funniest Tweets From Women' page for past roundups.
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My mom answers the phone like she's in the middle of defusing a bomb.
I know his cousins probably fucking hate him
Going through life with a signature I made when I was 16.
This sign at a restaurant in Tokyo
I lowkey love it when merch is ugly bc im saving so much money
Just got goodbyemogged so hard. I said 'have a great rest of your day' and got back 'have an awesome rest of your week'. On a Monday too!! Totally destroyed.
Heartbreaking: I bought a dress from an expensive trendy brand and it's unfortunately incredibly high quality and looks amazing
Y'all ever lost your PHONE in a blanket and sent that bitch flying
Me as a couples therapist: I watched Arrival last night and you two remind me of Amy Adams and the Aliens, it's very hard for you to communicate but you're trying hard to figure it out. Have you guys seen Arrival?
I was at a doctor's appointment once and the nurse asked me what I had eaten that day I said 'uhh just a coffee and a donut' and she looked at me and said 'like a cop?' and she honestly ate me up so bad I will never forget her.
I helped a girl set up her Roth IRA while out clubbing once, I do not play
I lost 75lbs on Zepbound, and it's true people really don't talk about the side effects. For instance, now when I bring up a health concern, my doctor orders tests
Mormons cultural influence (non expansive): giant cookie, dirty soda, Benson Boone, Imagine Dragons, the CIA
'Charlotte's Web' is my favorite book about a woman doing all the work while some dude gets credit and then she has to die.
My hobbies include: 1. Going home 2. Being at home 3. Wishing I was at home
Another mother's day where my cats didn't get me SHIT
Gotta take a workplace violence training course at work, v excited to learn how to fight my coworkers
