Former Nickelodeon actress and author Jennette McCurdy has shared intimate details about what she describes as an "addictive" and exploitative relationship with a significantly older man that began when she was a teenager working on the hit show iCarly.
The Start of a Complex Dynamic
McCurdy, now 33, revealed the story during a January 7, 2026, appearance on the popular Call Her Daddy podcast hosted by Alex Cooper. She recounted meeting the man, who was in his 30s, on the set of iCarly when she was 18 years old. Their interactions began innocuously, with them spending time together in the writers' room after work.
"He would show me movies he thought I would like, like Dazed and Confused, which I did not like but pretended to like. He would play me music I did not like but pretended to like," McCurdy told Cooper. Looking back, the Sam & Cat star admitted she now feels foolish, especially knowing the man was living with his girlfriend at the time.
She described a pattern where she received only "half-hour pockets" of his time and felt compelled to be at his "every beck and call." McCurdy explained the psychological pull, stating, "I just remember thinking, 'Oh, there's something about me that's a little different, like I'm special.' And I think if you feel really powerless, you'll take that bait."
A Twisted Introduction to Intimacy
The relationship took a disturbing turn when the man, while "completely drunk," asked the then-teenager for oral sex. McCurdy, who described her younger self as "Mormon and homeschooled" and intent on waiting for marriage, confessed she didn't initially understand what he was asking for.
"I was like, 'That sounds kind of weird. I'm nervous to do this,' and he was like, 'I'll guide you through it.' He does," she recounted. The experience was "uncomfortable" and "difficult," and she was left confused, initially thinking he had urinated in her mouth. "He explained and that was sort of my entry point into a real sexual activity," McCurdy said.
This encounter shifted what she called a "nuanced power dynamic." The man would use phrases like, "I'm a mid-30s man and this is something I need" to pressure her, while paying lip service to her boundary about sex before marriage. McCurdy wistfully admitted she "eventually did have sex with him," disregarding her self-imposed rule.
An Addictive Cycle and Eventual End
McCurdy characterized the entire experience as deeply "addictive." She found herself constantly "chasing" the feeling and described her nervous system as "hijacked" while waiting for their next interaction, followed by an emotional crash. "Once that tapered off is really when the relationship tapered off," she noted.
The affair ultimately ended around the time her mother, Debra McCurdy, died in 2013, though they briefly reconciled afterward. McCurdy has processed this chapter of her life through writing, first touching on the "creepy" relationship in her 2022 memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died.
She delved deeper into the emotions while writing her upcoming novel, Half His Age, set for release on January 13. "Writing is my way to closure for past experiences," McCurdy explained. "I didn't realize how angry I still was... Then I'm writing this book … because I have so much anger, so much left to process."
The actress's candid revelation adds to her ongoing public narrative about navigating fame, personal trauma, and complex relationships during her formative years in the spotlight.
