Former Nickelodeon star Jennette McCurdy has shared intimate details about a past relationship she describes as "addictive" and exploitative, involving a significantly older man she met on the set of her hit show iCarly when she was just 18 years old.
An 'Addictive' Dynamic on Set
McCurdy, now 33, made the revelation during a January 7, 2026, appearance on the popular Call Her Daddy podcast hosted by Alex Cooper. She recounted meeting the man, who was in his 30s, while working on iCarly. Their interactions began innocuously, with them spending time together in the writers' room after work.
"He would show me movies he thought I would like, like Dazed and Confused, which I did not like but pretended to like. He would play me music I did not like but pretended to like," McCurdy told Cooper. Looking back, the Sam & Cat actress said she feels like "an idiot," especially knowing the man lived with his girlfriend at the time.
She described a controlling pattern where she received only "half-hour pockets" of his time and had to be at his "beck and call." "When he calls, I go. It was just exhausting," she said. McCurdy explained her mindset at the time: "I just remember thinking, 'Oh, there's something about me that's a little different, like I'm special.' And I think if you feel really powerless, you'll take that bait."
A Confusing and Coercive Sexual Introduction
The relationship took a more intimate turn under troubling circumstances. McCurdy, who was raised Mormon and homeschooled and had intended to wait until marriage for sex, revealed the man asked her for oral sex while "completely drunk." She admitted she didn't know what it was at the time.
"I was like, 'That sounds kind of weird. I'm nervous to do this,' and he was like, 'I'll guide you through it.' He does," she recounted. The experience was "uncomfortable" and "difficult," leaving her confused and initially thinking he had urinated in her mouth. "He explained and that was sort of my entry point into a real sexual activity," McCurdy said.
She described a "nuanced power dynamic" where the man, in his mid-30s, would pressure her by saying, "I'm respectful of your boundary that you can't have sex before marriage, but I also have needs of my own." McCurdy eventually disregarded her self-imposed rule and had sex with him.
Closure Through Writing and Reflection
McCurdy characterized the entire experience as "addictive," comparing the cycle of anticipation and crash to a hijacked nervous system. The relationship finally tapered off around the time her mother, Debra McCurdy, died in 2013, though they briefly reconciled afterward.
The actress and author first wrote about this "creepy" relationship in her bestselling 2022 memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died. She revisited the experience more deeply while writing her upcoming novel, Half His Age, set for release on January 13, 2026.
"Writing is my way to closure for past experiences," McCurdy explained. "I didn't realize how angry I still was. I didn't think of this person ever that I was in a relationship with at all. He wasn't on my mind. Then I'm writing this book … because I have so much anger, so much left to process."
Her candid discussion sheds light on the complex power imbalances and emotional manipulation that can occur between young performers and older colleagues in the entertainment industry.
