Eileen Kelly is not backing down from the conversation around her relationship with Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis. In a candid Vogue essay titled "My Boyfriend Is Double My Age," published April 21, the Going Mental podcast host explores what it means to date someone 33 years older and why people are so quick to judge.
Though she never names Kiedis directly, the two have been seen together since November, according to E! News and People. Kelly, 30, puts it plainly: Her boyfriend is in his 60s — "which is either alarming or impressive, depending on who you ask."
Personal Reflections on Age Gap
It is new territory for her. "It's my first time dating someone significantly older," she writes, adding that she sometimes jokes she has been "missing out my whole life." Kelly opens the essay with a scene in a friend's kitchen, listening to yet another recap of a messy relationship with a man closer to her friend's age. "Maybe," she says after a pause, "it's time to try dating someone older."
For Kelly, one of the upsides is stability. "There is something to be said for a man who's simply had more time to get his s— together," she writes. Her boyfriend, she adds, is fully present in the relationship — "not like he's biding his time before he can swipe for someone better … He is fully aware that he's one lucky bastard."
How They Met
Their connection started casually at a birthday party. They sat beside each other and talked, eventually realizing their lives had overlapped for years in small ways — visiting the same quiet Hawaiian town, possibly even crossing paths without knowing it. "An invisible string connecting us," she calls it. At first, the age gap barely registered. "I had met someone interesting and magnetic; if anything, I assumed we'd just become friends."
Addressing Double Standards
Kelly zeroes in on what she sees as a double standard. When older women date younger men, the reaction is often celebratory. Flip the genders, and it is a different story. "An older man is reflexively labeled 'creepy' and 'gross,'" she writes, while the younger woman is dismissed as having "daddy issues" or being "a gold-digger." "Is it really so difficult to imagine that connection can exist across generations?" she asks bluntly.
She does not ignore the concerns. Age gaps can come with real imbalances — especially around money, experience, and independence. "Power is annoyingly slippery," she writes, pointing out that it is not just about who pays the bills, but also emotional dynamics. "Knowing exactly when to offer an apology and when to withhold one … the ability to steer a conversation so smoothly the other person doesn't realize it's happened."
Still, she draws a clear line about her own situation. "I have my own money, my own career, and I have my own home," she explains. "I love my boyfriend, but I'm not at risk of losing everything if we break up." For her, that independence matters — and she admits the equation would look very different if she were younger.
Public Reactions
Public reaction has not been exactly nuanced. Kelly describes "shocking … unsolicited commentary," including strangers asking if Kiedis is her father or joking about him having a "beautiful" daughter. The bluntness, she suggests, says more about other people than it does about her relationship. She also points out the irony: More "normal" relationships — like her friend's turbulent one — often escape scrutiny, even when they are unhealthy. Meanwhile, age-gap relationships become a lightning rod for "broader anxieties about power, aging, desirability."
Kiedis's Background
As for the 63-year-old Kiedis, his dating history has included other significant age gaps, including past relationships with young models Wanessa Milhomem and Helena Vestergaard, according to Entertainment Weekly. He shares a son, Everly Bear, with model Heather Christie. Kiedis himself rose to fame with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, one of the best-selling bands of all time, per The Associated Press, known for blending funk, punk, and rap into mainstream rock. They were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2012.
