On Thursday's episode of "The Late Show," host Stephen Colbert opened with an unusually cheerful spring in his step, attributing it not just to the melting snow on New York sidewalks—which he quipped makes him "want to hop over all that poop" thawing after weeks of frigid weather—but also to breaking news from across the pond.
Colbert's Reaction to Prince Andrew's Arrest
"Also because this morning the former Prince Andrew was arrested following revelations in the Epstein files," Colbert explained to his audience. "Yes, finally, someone, anyone! Let's hear it! Let's hear it for British justice, which is better ... than American justice because it comes with frilly wigs." The punch line drew laughter, but the actual news prompted applause from the crowd.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, who was infamously stripped of his formal title in the British royal family last year amid mounting questions about his past connection to late child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, was taken into custody by U.K. authorities on Thursday. Colbert noted, "Technically this arrest isn't about any charges of pedophilia." Instead, U.K. authorities arrested him on suspicion of "misconduct in public office," defined as "serious willful abuse or neglect of the power or responsibilities of the public office held."
Jabs at American Politics
Colbert couldn't resist a dig at American politics, joking that such misconduct "is not only not illegal in the United States, it was Trump's campaign slogan." The arrest followed the latest release of Epstein files, which suggest the former prince gave Epstein confidential information while serving as the official U.K. trade envoy in 2011 on lucrative investment options in the reconstruction of Afghanistan's Helmand Province.
Colbert shared a now-viral image snapped by Reuters photographer Phil Noble, showing the disgraced former royal looking stupefied and slouching in the back of a car while being driven away from the police station. "It's a classic pose known as the Nosferatu," he joked about the apparent resemblance.
Mocking Trump's 'Board of Peace'
Moving on from Epstein and mounting calls for thorough investigations in the U.S., Colbert turned his attention to President Donald Trump's inaugural "Board of Peace" address on Thursday. Trump announced the U.S. will contribute $10 billion to his newly formed organization, though he shared no further details on where the money is coming from or how it can be spent.
Colbert jokingly likened this board to the United Nations, "except instead of passing binding resolutions, you pass a greasy bag of money to Donald Trump" and pay $1 billion to secure a permanent seat. He said it thus seems to operate just like a traditional strip club, explaining, "Cash only and Donald Trump will never leave."
Trump's Comments on the Matter
Earlier, President Trump had described Prince Andrew's arrest as "a shame" and "very sad thing," telling reporters that he himself has been "totally exonerated" of any potential crimes related to Epstein, pointing to files released by his Justice Department as supposed proof. Colbert's monologue highlighted the stark contrast between the two figures' legal situations, using humor to underscore the ongoing controversies.
Overall, Colbert's segment blended sharp political satire with breaking news, offering a unique take on international justice and domestic politics that left his audience both laughing and thinking.
