It's a common experience for couples to field unsolicited opinions about their relationships. However, for partners in mixed-weight relationships—where one person is significantly larger than the other—the commentary often crosses a line into outright rudeness and invasive stereotyping.
Intrusive Questions and Harmful Assumptions
Couples from across North America, including several Canadian content creators, are speaking out about the frustrating and demeaning questions they face. Gloria Shuri Henry, who runs a YouTube channel, says people immediately assumed her husband had a "fat fetish" when they got together. "We still get comments like: ‘It must be hard knowing that someone is with you because of your size’ or ‘Is your husband a feeder?’" she shares. Henry believes this stems from a deep-seated stigma that views fat people as "sub-par" and unlovable, unable to comprehend that attraction can exist without objectification.
Similarly, Justin Stallings confronts the assumption that being with a plus-size partner indicates low self-esteem. "Some people assume you ‘can’t do any better’... That’s a wrong take on a relationship dynamic they couldn’t possibly understand," he states, adding that it takes strength to ignore such opinions.
Dispelling Myths About Health and Practicality
The scrutiny extends into absurdly personal and practical domains. Jean Piersanti is often asked, "How do you deal with going on a plane?" Her answer is simple: compromise and care. "Tony always takes the middle seat so I’m able to be comfortable... We take care of each other and have each other’s back!" she explains.
Questions about health dynamics are also common and misguided. Runa Azam notes people always assume her husband is the health-conscious one. "It’s the total opposite! I’m the one that keeps him in check," she says, highlighting that size does not indicate who is more health-conscious in a relationship.
Perhaps the most invasive query of all is about intimacy. Carla Theodore calls the question "How do you have sex?" the silliest she's ever heard. "We have sex the same way you do except we have a lot more fun... No, we don’t crush our mates," she asserts, emphasizing their shared humanity.
Love Beyond Size and Stereotype
For these couples, the foundation of their relationship is love and mutual respect, not physical dimensions. Angel Nguyen hears people say, "I didn’t know Asian guys like curvy girls!" She finds this "backward compliment" twisted, as it expresses surprise at their pairing. "It’s all about the size of the hearts, not the individuals," she affirms.
Mzznaki Tetteh, a nurse from Ghana, faced comments about her husband's physical strength after a viral engagement photo showed him lifting her. "His physical strength or ability has never been a factor in our relationship," she clarifies.
Ultimately, these stories underscore a powerful message. As Joy Thomas puts it, "the love we have for one another isn’t contingent upon how big or small one of us are." She feels blessed to be with a man who adores her at every size, proving that for many couples, connection runs far deeper than society's superficial judgments.
