An advice-seeker faces a difficult decision between two suitors, one in Europe and one in New York, both of whom profess love and desire a serious future. The letter, published July 5, 2026, asks Jeanne Phillips, aka Dear Abby, for guidance on choosing a life partner when both men are wonderful but offer different lifestyles.
The Dilemma: Romance vs. Stability
The writer describes the European suitor as a romantic dreamer who makes her feel alive and loved but may lack follow-through and presents citizenship challenges. The New York friend is empathetic, hardworking, and creative but feels more like a friend, raising fears of boredom or exhaustion from his deep emotions. The writer worries about making the wrong choice, especially regarding future family plans.
According to the letter, both men are respectful and caring, and the writer feels beyond lucky to have their affection. However, the decision hinges on whether to prioritize magic and spontaneity or security and stability.
Dear Abby's Advice
Jeanne Phillips advises the writer to consider long-term implications, especially if children are involved. She suggests that the stable, hardworking partner may be better suited for family life, but ultimately the decision rests on personal values. Phillips recommends continuing to see both men openly, allowing time to clarify feelings.
“If you plan on having a family, one would hope you would opt for the love and stability this one would provide,” Phillips writes. She acknowledges the difficulty but notes that values differ, and the writer must choose based on her own priorities.
Second Letter: Happiness Through Studying
A second letter from a South Korean high school student asks whether studying hard guarantees future happiness, given the present stress. Phillips responds that happiness varies per individual, but education often leads to better self-sufficiency and family support, though no guarantees exist. She emphasizes that the pressure of studying is usually worthwhile in the end.
