A retired couple who moved to Florida after 45 years of marriage are devastated after the husband's adult sons demanded he leave his wife and move near their mother to be forgiven. The couple, who married eight years after the husband's first marriage ended, had a good relationship with the sons until the move, when the sons suddenly revealed they had always hated the wife.
Sons Demand Father Abandon Wife
The sons, aged 58 and 56, told their father: “Dad, if you move back here, live close to Mom and leave your current wife, we will forgive you.” They also refuse to let the couple see their four grandchildren, despite a previously wonderful relationship with three of them. The couple had reached out twice to make amends, to no avail.
The husband's first wife, who has a Ph.D. in family therapy, never remarried and is described as manipulative and controlling. The sons wanted the couple to move next door to her and live as “one big, happy family,” a prospect the couple found unimaginable.
Advice Columnist Responds
In her response, Dear Abby advised the couple to use their common sense, calling the sons' emotional blackmail “loony tunes” and noting that what is being proposed is “outside the realm of reality.” She emphasized that the couple does not need her help, but rather must rely on their own judgment.
Second Letter: Gifts to Nieces
In a separate letter, a woman asked whether she could stop sending monetary gifts to her nieces' children, ranging in age from 12 to 18, who live in Europe. She has sent $25 for Christmas and birthdays, plus larger gifts for milestones like graduation, but has never received a thank-you letter. She is growing tired of the gifting and wonders if stopping would seem mean.
Dear Abby advised her not to punish the children for their parents' failure to teach gratitude. She suggested explaining the disappointment to the nieces if she decides to stop, given the established pattern and lack of hardship caused by the gifts.
Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers can contact her at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
