After 35 years of silence, a college friend has suddenly reappeared, leaving one reader uncertain about how to respond. The advice-seeker, who had three close girlfriends in college, lost touch with one of them more than three decades ago. Although the former friend has family in the area, she moved to the Midwest and stopped communicating, despite regular visits to nearby relatives.
Over the years, the reader experienced significant life changes: a new job, marriage, two children, divorce, relocation, and retirement. Now, this long-lost friend has reached out without explanation. The reader feels conflicted, acknowledging the friend's bravery in reconnecting but also recognizing that she has not been a supportive presence. Current friends who have been reliable deserve attention. The reader asks for guidance on whether to engage or move on.
Dear Abby's Response
Abby suggests two options: ignore the attempt or respond by asking what prompted the contact. Depending on the answer, the reader can either agree to meet or politely explain that their lives have diverged and she is not available.
Additional Letters
DEAR ABBY: Husband's Relapse and a New Connection
A woman married for 11 years reports that her husband resumed drinking two years ago, leading to a DUI and family estrangement. She feels isolated and has formed a strong bond with another man. She wonders if it is wrong to move on.
Abby advises that wanting to leave is natural given the circumstances. She suggests offering the husband a choice: quit drinking and seek help, or lose her. If he relapses, she should follow through. If she decides to end the marriage, Abby cautions her to take time to truly know the new man before committing.
DEAR ABBY: What to Do with Late Mother's Dentures
While cleaning, a family discovered their deceased mother's false teeth. Opinions vary on disposal: discarding them feels wrong, but keeping them seems creepy. Other mementos already exist.
Abby recommends consulting a dentist, who may be able to dispose of or recycle the dentures, which is preferable to throwing them away or burying them.
