In a New York apartment, 22-year-old Canadian content creator Mai Pham has meticulously reconstructed her childhood bedroom — not for sleeping, but for healing. The space serves as both a time capsule of her adolescence and the recording studio for her popular podcast "MaiSpace."
From Alberta Isolation to Internet Stardom
Mai Pham's story begins in a small Alberta town where she grew up as one of the few non-white residents. The daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, Pham describes feeling isolated both within her community and her own family. "I never really had a family dynamic, and I felt very individualistic," she recalls of her childhood.
Her parents worked tirelessly running their business, while her grandmother primarily raised the children. This arrangement left Pham feeling disconnected, with strict rules that prevented her from socializing normally. "I wasn't even allowed to have friends or hang out with them," she reveals. "That's why I got on the internet."
The Bedroom as Time Capsule and Therapy
The recreated bedroom is filled with authentic artifacts from Pham's youth. A "Don't Bug Me" Miley Cyrus poster hangs on the door, teen heartthrobs plaster the walls, and Littlest Pet Shop figurines — the same ones she unboxed in her first YouTube video at age 7 — keep watch. Her original vision board, featuring a mock-up of 2 million subscribers, serves as a poignant reminder of dreams since surpassed — she now boasts over 3 million subscribers.
This carefully constructed set represents more than nostalgia. It's a loving rebuttal to the childhood bedroom that often felt suffocating. "I think as a child, I had a lot of sadness in me," Pham confesses. "Honestly, for as long as I can remember, I was pretty depressed. But there was also a light in me — a joy, a desire to create and be a kid."
The space also fulfills a childhood longing. Pham remembers sneaking into her older sister's room to film "morning routines," briefly pretending to inhabit the cooler, more grown-up version of girlhood she craved. "I really wanted to recreate that for myself," she says.
Breaking Away and Coming Home
At 15, Pham made the dramatic decision to leave home after her father yelled at her to clean her room. "I got my friend to pick me up, and I literally just never went back home," she remembers. She slept in a friend's basement and began building the independent life that would eventually lead to her online success.
While her public persona flourished online, private healing took longer. A turning point came four years ago when she looked at a photo strip of just her and her mother. "I realized one day she's gonna pass away, and I would hate to regret not having a relationship with her because of a hate for my dad," Pham explains, her voice wavering.
This realization sparked a journey toward family reconciliation. She began understanding her parents' context — immigrants working constantly, with her father raised as the "golden child" and her mother prioritizing household duties over maternal connection.
The healing culminated in an emotional phone call where Pham sobbed and declared, "We need to do Christmas together." She bought plane tickets for everyone, and about three years ago, they celebrated their first real family Christmas since she had moved out at 15.
A Space Transformed
Today, the bedroom replica resonates with new meaning. After rebuilding her family relationships, recording her podcast there feels both intentional and deeply significant. Surrounded by evidence of dreams once pinned to vision boards, Pham practices a different kind of remembering.
"It's really important for me to look back at the things that I've accomplished, but also be surrounded by younger me," she reflects. "Instead of seeing my childhood bedroom as a dark place that I literally felt trapped in, I can see it as what a beautiful place that so much creation happened."
The space that once represented confinement now symbolizes freedom — a testament to how revisiting our past with compassion can transform our present.
