Many older adults grew up in households with a single landline phone, usually mounted on a kitchen wall. That device had only one possible "app" — an extra-long cord. Parents controlled phone use entirely, often listening in on conversations unless children could hide in a closet with the cord. Today, everyone carries a beep-boop machine in their pocket, and the same adults who once monitored phone calls are now immersed in grandkid photos, Candy Crush, and conspiracy theories.
Between older individuals who learned to use smartphones from scratch and digital natives who set up TikTok accounts from infancy, a significant divide has emerged regarding proper phone setup, usage, and etiquette.
How the Generations View Their Phones
When asked which generation has worse phone habits, etiquette expert Jo Hayes is clear: "I hate to be the one to say this, but older people, especially Boomers, have atrocious phone hygiene. As a general rule, younger people do much better."
Jodi RR Smith, author of "From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman & Manners for the Modern Man," explains the digital divide: "Older people see technology as separate from themselves. Once something is installed, they rarely review or delete anything. They also experienced entire documents disappearing from clunky computers, fostering a healthy distrust of tech." For younger people, she notes, "technology is an extension of themselves — a combination entertainer, constant friend, and electronic security blanket. They readily swap in new apps or upgrades."
Top Phone Habits That Baffle Younger Generations
1. Cold Calling
For those who grew up with landlines, a ringing phone was an imperative to answer and address the caller's needs. In contrast, young people believe the only good reason to make a call is an emergency — and even then, a text might suffice. Cold calling (calling without warning) is considered rude.
Brittany Smith, a technology coach, says: "I'm 44, the last 'calling' generation. But I understand the anxiety an unexpected call brings. We're overloaded and overstimulated, and that ring can feel tense." She notes that older people often answer every call, even during family time, leading to "phubs" (phone snubs). She brings ear buds to listen to something until her dad finishes his call.
2. Sending Long Text Messages
Diane Gottsman, owner of The Protocol School of Texas and mother of Gen Z children, receives feedback on digital messaging. "They don't like it when you leave a text like a letter. If it's so long you need multiple texts, avoid writing a novel and get to the point." Signs of "senior screen syndrome" include announcing yourself in a voicemail ("This is Mom") or signing a text with your name. She advises streamlined communication: avoid unnecessary group chat responses, don't forward chain letters, and learn emoji meanings. Use emojis sparingly and accurately.
3. Not Locking the Phone Screen
Hayes observes: "Most older people send a message, then put their phone straight in their pocket or handbag. I've had countless pocket-dials from my Boomer dad. I have to remind him to click the side button." Brittany Smith suggests setting autolock to activate in 30 seconds to minimize accidental unlocks.
4. Unknowingly Turning On the Flashlight
Catherine, a barista in Chicago, notes that older customers often have their phone flashlight on unknowingly, shining it in service workers' eyes. Brittany Smith compares it to driving with a turn signal on for miles. Her quick fix: "Remove the flashlight from the lock screen and replace it with something less intrusive."
While younger generations may laugh, etiquette expert Jodi Smith offers perspective: "One of the best things about getting older is knowing that those young people will eventually be snickered at by future generations." Good luck to Madison and Taylor when they're trying to power up the Senior Brigade's anti-matter transporter to visit grandchildren at Mars Base Camp.
